Ok - so I was happy that my knee was ok....and I felt validated that the doc acknowledges the FMS Dx......but now, I feel like I'm in the dark again.

FMS can attack my joints?????
And just a year ago, I went to a doc and said - Ok - FMS symptoms started possibly after I had the hysterectomy in 1989 - or did it happen after the fall and paralysis in the Navy in 1978 - and I listed these symptoms;
Pain, fatigue, headaches, intestinal issues, GI issues, Chest pain non heart related - though multiple ER visits, Low Basal Temp, Depression, Heat & Cold sensitivity, sleep issues, swelling and stiffness.  Now diabetic 2, and osteopenia.

Now - the PTSD  doesn't  help matters.... but I keep being treated for them....and I'm not sure I'm getting the treatment I really need.  What if the sleep issues are FMS - and I'm really not having such a difficult time with the PTSD now?  Every suicide attempt was in direct relation to emotional exhaustion from working extra hours, medicine issues(schedule off), and lack of sleep and regular diet. 
I am on 'non therapeutic' levels of all my meds....because I am so sensitive to them - I've had multiple H.Pylori treatments, and am having to take stomach meds constantly now - I get rebound headaches from any pain med for any length of time.....is this FMS???

I have been in menopause since I was 30 - and even some of the symptoms could be attributed to that, but it was going on before...the hip pain, the knee pain....the exhaustion when I was carrying the babies and after they were born.

Now there is something going on with my lower leg....has been for two years...and I can't find the doc that will work with that section of the leg!!!  Swelling, pain, burning, everything on my is sensitive to touch - period.  Except maybe my nose.

Now, I hear that the mental fog I've been worried about, may be the FMS...and I just thought it was me losing my mind with the PTSD  stuff - or worse....

I have been fighting finding docs that will listen to me for years....and now - I find that I may need to adjust my focus....on a misunderstood and under acknowledged and often dismissed disorder.

What is the constant?
God.
God is God.
God is my God.
God created me.
God could change me if He wanted to.
God loved me, loves me, and will always love me.
God will never leave me nor forsake me, even when I feel alone.
Jesus.
Jesus is God
Jesus is God's Son.
Jesus gave His life for me.
Jesus loved me from the cross before I was born.
Jesus intercedes for me daily before the throne of God.
Jesus advocates for me, and by His stripes I was healed.
I am.
I believe.
I struggle to trust.
I owe my life to Jesus Christ.
I choose that though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.
I choose to worship between life and death, until the throne.
Because I am, and because HE is, I will be what HE ordained me to be.

The hard part is the journey....
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness.
Yea though I walk through the valley of death, thou art with me.
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table for me in the presence of mine enemies.
Thou anointest my head with oil.
My cup over floweth.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Amen.

In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi

Ok, I already told you 6, 8, and 9 are true.
1. I have five children, three girls and two boys.
Yep - 25b, 24g, 23b, 21g &20g, and one grandson.
2. I love fresh, vine ripened tomatoes.
Absolutely - and just about anything else I could pick out of the garden.....
10. I can bake bread from scratch.
by hand....without a mixer, well, that's how I have made it, but there's this fantastic bread store here that grinds their own flour daily, and bakes bread fresh with it - of course I want to support the local economy! And they give free slices with butter and jam when you walk into the store!!! (No Christi, No Christi - walk away from the bread counter......)
3. I coached soccer.
Yep - for 12-13 year old girls and 3&4 year olds....and with every coaching, or child programs I've done the problems are usually the parents....but I love working with 12-13 year old girls.  I have funny stories about the 3 year old soccer players!
5. I met Jim when I was 14.
Yep - I thought he was the most arrogant, stuck up, country hick....then, I warmed up to him for a little while, then we were just friends for a few years, then we sort of had that Runaway Bride moment - do you wanna? you and me? uh, well I've got the dress! And got hitched in 1980.
So that leaves it down to:
4. I was medically discharged from the Navy.
Or
7. I gave birth at home with no nurses or medicines.
Well - I was paralyzed from the waist down from a fall in the Navy - and spent 6 months in Balboa Naval hospital  because of that, and they did force me to ask for a discharge.....but they lost my medical records from the hospital to the admin office, and I did not receive any medical benefits - only an honorable discharge.  I still hold my breath to this day that the injury doesn't reoccur....and if it did, maybe my medical records have shown back up.  Anyway - this is the false one......which makes #7 true.
We were in a very fundamental church, trusting the Lord for everything...including health.  We have seen miracles - no doubt about it- that you would not believe, and we give glory to God for those. We were not stupid - my mom was a nurse...and I knew way too much to just go it alone.  We were blessed with a wonderful midwife, doctor trained, who served the local old order German Baptist communities...these were horse and buggy communities.  She was very experienced, and honored our faith, but also had a doctor that would back up at the ER if needed.  She did our prenatal checks as well - in the old order manner. We only had 4 at home, because by the fifth, she retired because Indiana changed it's laws....and she was in pain most of the time from RA.  So, the last one, Rachel was born in a hospital - with a pit drip and all the trappings of a hospital birth.

FYI - I've told my daughter not to plan on a home birth, and I would not support her in a home birth, unless it was a faith based decision(rather than mom did it that way) - and unless she could find a well trained nurse midwife....and apparently most of the home birthing centers are no more in central Ohio...only one in Dayton....in fact, she was surprised that I took her husband's side on this!
So - yes, we are that crazy....
Now, Jim knew this one was true - obviously....but he forgot that the Navy gipped me out of the medical discharge because of papers misplaced.  Someday, I may take that up with the VA again....but right now, there are others that need the military benefits more than I do.

~Christi

It's been a long time, it's been hard work - my back hurts and I think I broke a sweat.....but........
From 350, starting at 450,
I got our friends list down below 270!!!  Next goal - under 100!!!!

~C

Just so everyone feels better - even Jim had a hard time with the untruth....after 34 years.....you'd think he'd know me???

As I said - #9 is true.  I went to church with a girl from school - in 1969 ( I was 9 years old) - and I gave my heart to Jesus.  I haven't been the best Christian - but that relationship has been solid and a priority to me since that day in the little church across the street.  I've had re-committments galore...and I am so thankful for second, third, fourth ...nth chances, and for the forgiveness purchased at the cross.

#8 is also true - A bunch of us 'Christians' went out for our own cast party after Godspell - and Kristin and her sister were my priest's daughters.  Kristin took my part in the  play - because I was one of the few with a big enough voice to carry the chorus(always got put in the chorus because I could sing loud enough to be heard....grrr. The same thing happened with being on flag core - I was the only one that could march and play a clarinet, so I wasn't allowed on flag core).  I can't remember her sister's name - but I remember Fritz brought alcohol....and I grew up drinking wine and stuff at dinner and communion....so, it took a lot to get me drunk (still does, though I don't work at it!).  Since I was the most 'fanatic Christian' in the group - I suppose she was looking to me for guidance - and I said - oh, four or five drinks won't hurt you. It never hurt me....but Kristin's sister got so drunk, we had to lay her on her side on the picnic table to keep her from choking....and the priest that thought I was such a good example had quite a talking to me, and I think a recommittment followed shortly!  So - Danielle - you got me on this one!

#6 is also true....A friend of mine was going to go into juve for skipping school - and I went with him, dressed in a brown suit with my hair all pulled back.  I have no idea now where his parents were - our families had been friends for years, camping and canoeing together forever...and I cannot remember them being there for him. Or they might have said something.  He was a year behind me, and like a little brother. Anyway - I stood up and told the judge that I would take responsibility for making sure he was at school, and did his school work.  They asked my name, asked if I was from South High, and I said yes.  They let him go in my custody.  Later that day, I was called into the principals office and asked about representing myself as a counselor from the school.  They got a huge laugh - Greg got his act together - and I got a story.  Maybe I am a bit of an actress, huh?

this is fun!
~c

I've been through this knee thing so many times - I KNEW what the MRI was saying....I even looked at the MRI disc and tried to find the tears....I did see a whole lot of fat - if you want to wake yourself up on the need to lose weight - go get an MRI - and look at the fat.  Jim's comment (now that you all know he grew up on a beef farm) was - you have some really nice marbling there....ARRGGHH!
Anyway - no tears. no tissue damage. everything mechanical is intact.  There is some wear and tear (though no tears) on the joint, and arthritis...and he is sending me to an arthritis doc - rheumatologist - because of the chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia affect on my joints.
I asked him can I start doing stuff again - he said yes - he offered Physical therapy again - and at $30 a shot - I could collect a nice little fund for clothes if I PT myself! So I said no thanks.  I did ask for cortisone shots to get me over this time. 
Remember the last doc I saw for my knees?  Without an MRI, he was threatening me with surgery and a full knee replacement at that???? He had me so scared that if I fell or injured my knee again(which I did), I'd have surgery set up immediately!  No wonder I was scared, and sure that something serious was wrong!!!
I asked this doc if I could walk - he said sure!  I asked
"So - there's nothing wrong mechanical with my knee, right?'
"Right"
"So - I can continue with my exercise plans no problem, right?" (Silly doc, didn't ask what my exercise plans were - but Jim knew!)
"wait until the numbing medicine wears off first - see how the cortisone shots work - then I see no problem"
" So - I just need to push through the pain, right?"
and his eyes got big, and he said
"Within reason!"
hmmmmm, whose reason?
Jim was already trying to figure out how to keep me from doing too much too fast....pain slowed me down.....but we're not into that kind of stuff.
I was ready to hand over the crutches right then - but Jim said - No - you haven't been on your legs for a week, you just got numbing shots in both legs - use the crutches. - so I did, out to the car!
I WALKED INTO THE RESTAURANT THOUGH!!! 'cause it don't hurt no more! ;-)
Anyway - all those exercises I did the five months before the overuse injury and the bike injury strengthened the tissues, muscles and such around my knee - AND THE FALL DID NOT TEAR THE MENISCUS!!!  I have strengthened my knees so that they are protected! That has been my goal this whole time, and now I have MRI proof that it works! The prior doc was WRONG!!! What I was doing was NOT hurting me, but strengthening me!!!! WOO HOO!
Things I've learned:
Fibromyalgia affects joints.  With fibro - you move to keep it from hurting, with injuries, you immobilize and rest.  So - the last two weeks, I've been treating an injury - and the FMS has flared up....but I know how to deal with that! (oh yeah, the water issue....that helps the FMS too - and i wasn't doing too good with it!).
I can get a doc to help me with the arthritis and FMS.....they are called rheumatologists...arthritis docs!
I CAN WALK! and walking is good for me!!!
But Jim has already nixed me getting in gear for the Fourth of July Four Miler....I'm not allowed to do major exercises this week - until I am free of the numbing meds (can I get those to go?).
I can start working out next week - with REHAB exercises...in water first.
And he's told me I am not allowed to go OCD about the fourth of July race....I already volunteered since I was so sure this doc would want to do surgery. And since there is only the rest of this week, next week, and then part of the first week of July (three days) - I've been sidelined FOR THIS RACE!!!! 
We haven't talked about it - but the Columbus Mini 15k and 5k is on July 13 - and Jim is working on the Grand Prix races.  I don't know if he'll do the 15k after how the 5 miler felt on his foot.  But - that gives me about a month to get back into 5k shape!!!!
But I don't know if either of us will be doing the 10 miler on our anniversary - Aug 2nd.  But I'm not out of the racing!!!! Woo Hoo!!!
I believe that my Savior and Lord has taught me many things through this - patience, leaning on Him, slowing down to smell the flowers - and set priorities better.  I am very thankful....very thankful.
Thanks for all your prayers, thoughts, and good wishes!
I love you all!
~C

#9 is TRUE.....
Mike and Kelley - guess again! ;-)

~C

hmm.
10 things about me, one is untrue, which is it?
1) I was raised on a farm
2) I rode my first steer at age 2
3) I hit the trifecta in high school, class president, valedictorian and football captain
4) I dropped out of college
5) I baked pies and cakes for the army...from scratch...450# at a time
6) At age 14 I could carry 2, 100# tractor weights at the same time
7) I sang a solo in a school play
8) I was the leading man in a school play
9) In 8th grade, I was the tallest boy in my class
10) The only nickname I've ever had is 'wildman'.

teehee

Jim

Officially...54:35, # 105 of 111 males, at a pace of 10:55 per mile.  Our first race in nice weather.  And a nice surprise for me at the finish line, with Christi volunteering to help after I had started running.  Oh yeah, and the kids too which she worked really hard on getting setup.  Some of the kids had hid behind one of the buildings to make sure I had already started.  If you wonder why the race is starting by a pizza store, it isn't really.  Next to the pizza store is one of the premier running stores in Columbus (Front Runner).  Maybe they thought we would run faster heading towards the pizza store at the end?

I definitely need to work on my endurance.  Along with losing weight, getting stronger, now I want to get faster too.  I really want to break 10 minutes a mile on one of these little jogs.  I was just a bit off pace at the halfway point, but I was hoping to gain some time going back down hill.  Our next one is 4 miler on July 4th.  So I have 3 weeks or so to get ready.

Course, I've never run 5 miles at one time in my life that I can remember, so it was pretty amazing from that perspective.

I encourage everyone to check out your local community for races.  It's a great motivator.

Jim

I got this from Danielle who got it from Kristy:
10 things, 1 is untrue....but which one is it?
1. I have five children, three girls and two boys.
2. I love fresh, vine ripened tomatoes.
3. I coached soccer.
4. I was medically discharged from the Navy.
5. I met Jim when I was 14.
6. At 16, I defended a juvenile in the court system.
7. I gave birth at home with no nurses or medicines.
8. I helped get a preacher's daughter drunk after Godspell cast party.
9. I am a born again Christian, since 1969.
10. I can bake bread from scratch.

Happy Father's Day from both of us.....
Jim and Christi

Jim did this race on his own - I don't have the exact time yet, but he finished around 55 minutes for 5 miles!
WOO HOO JIM!!!
I surprised him for Father's day with two of our daughters, and their extras at the finish line!    And our son, with his extras (including our grandson) showed up at the house for surprise Father's Day bread pudding, scrambled eggs, sausage and fruit salad.  No - it wasn't totally healthy....but it was a surprise, and a good morning. Not a bad surprise considering I'm in a wheelchair or crutches!! 
Everyone left by noon - and Jim crashed with a healthy dose of advil.

Check out the in our photos!

Me and God had a deep talk last night about the weight issue....actually, He got me to shut up so He could talk, and I listened.
The number one issue I'm dealing with is diabetes - which which increases my risk for every bad health issue - as well as the weight....and when I get 'knocked down' - I binge eat....and screw myself up even more. Then get emotional about what I can't do, and I eat more.  Pain, Pain, and stomach pain!

HE impressed me to work on what I CAN do, rather than wallow in what I CAN'T do.
So - even if I can't walk right now, I CAN manage my diabetes right now....and that will manage a bunch of other things right now so that when I walk again....I'll be hundreds of times better! Even if I never walk again (totally unexpected prognosis) - I will be more able to do things like wheel a 5k! and more!
So - the moral of my story is what CAN we do in the midsts of what we CAN'T do....It's that CAN DO attitude that got us this far....and it's that CAN'T DO attitude that took us down the wrong path and got us where we were.  Gotta get me a 6 pack of CanDo!!! And Chugg a lug!!!

We have worth because we are - and if what we can do changes, it doesn't change the worth we have because we are.  It only changes what we can do.  And it could be an opportunity to do something very special that we would never have done, because we were too busy doing what we could...and missed the slower blooming flowers and growing gems.

You CAN DO it!!!
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi

222.
Not eating all day, then filling up on food cause Jim can hand it to me is not a good way to lose weight.
I'll try again next week.  I think I'm going to make day to day commitments.
~C

Our Flabulous friend is doing a 10k tomorrow.  Jim is doing the Father's Day Fantastic Five miler Sunday. I wanted to be doing the 5 miler on Sunday with Jim....but they don't have a wheelchair division....and I haven't trained my arms for it! LOL.  I will be sitting and watching....but I HAVE  completed a 5k and a 4 miler.....and here is how I did them (not counting the Flying Pig that I talked and laughed all the way through)

 1.  Do you have a heart rate monitor?  Here's what I do to push myself. 
I know my high rates(155-160-85-90%), and I choose 120 for my lowest recovery rates. I set the alarms for those numbers.
2. DO WARM UP!  for a half hour!  do some light running/jogging/walking.  Do you stretches next...after they are warmed up.  Drink 8-16 ounces of water. My first mile is excruciating.....but the more I work through that first mile before the race starts, the better I am.
3. In the beginning, pace yourself - ignore the other runners - If you want to, slowly build up to your high rate - but don't stay there for very long - 5 minutes maybe. This seems to spark my engine.  It has also been known to cause excruciating pain for my first mile that just melts away.....like flushing out the old cobwebs....you will find your own way to start a race that's best for you.
4. set YOUR pace - if you want to just walk at a solid pace - stay between 130-140 (these are my numbers for 60-80%.....you can figure out yours)  Get yourself a mantra "I  can do this"  "I'm not a  quitter"  "I started this, I might as well finish this"  "There's only one way to get back to the car"  "I'm changing my life one step at a time" - or whatever works for you!  Recognize that you are out moving....and the tons of people at this race are still a VERY small percentage of the people that aren't out doing anything.....you are a mover!!!  you are a walker/jogger/runner/biker/swimmer!
5. -  I'm exhausted....I want to quit....so, I let my heart rate monitor go down to say 120ish....at about 130 I'm feeling like I can go again....but I force myself to wait until at least 125....then I take off again.   I feel like I have a new wind. 

I like my heart rate monitor. It gives me something to think about other than all the folks in front of me....and it makes me focus on MY ability....not someone else's.  It keeps me grounded.  I have to remind myself -  I am not in this to win the race - but to win my health.  I have to remind myself that yes, they will pull up the cones, but I can walk on the sidewalk to finish. Yes, I have to remind myself they will be done with the awards ceremony by the time I get there....but I'm honoring those that won by not quitting.  I'll never win one of these races....and I may never enter another one....but to be able to push your body past the normal range of ability, and realized you didn't drop dead or go into a coma is exhilarating.

I wish all the racers out there happy races, joyful jogs, wonderful walks, and beautiful bikerides!  Have fun this summer - get moving!!!

~Christi

Isn't  it interesting that just 6 months ago we were all so psyched about someone doing a 5k - working out through a show - losing 1-2 pounds (or more) a week.
Now - it's sort of typical.  I'm not sure how many folks here have done 5k's - but a lot have....one has moved on to training for a triathlon(Michelle)! Folks going for hikes in the mountains in snow....rushing out to do bootcamps in heatwaves in Ohio...learning to be personal trainers of some sort - this is becoming commonplace!  I look at Danielle's latest video and think - nah - they weren't really that big....Mike looks like a physical trainer!  Folks have lowered their blood numbers, diabetes numbers, and other things....and it's same-o same-o.  Yeah - we 'woo hoo', but it's normal in this community to lose weight, and take back our lives.

Six months ago - I would have told you I'd duck out of a 5k in the pouring rain....and now, I'd love to do it - even in a wheelchair - I'm thinking - good arm exercises!  While I am eating emotionally during this time in my life....I've done a lot worse...and I even seem to balance out my binges....who balances out their binges?
Those who have taken the challenge to change their lives - and have kept it up - even when the competition is over.

Here's to you - the ones that were the real champions of Biggest Loser - YOU changed your lives!  Congratulations!
~Christi

My next sport.....
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/857691/wheelchair_wheelies/

BTW - if you are offended by the music - I'm sorry.
~Christi

I have a wheelchair - already practicing wheelies....tonight we are going for a wheel!!!  I'm mobile again!
~C

I have a headache from the vicadin....so it's a choice - semi migraine pain or hip, knees and shoulder pain?  Hmmm, I just go back and forth between them.

Today I have an MRI - I thought I was going to get a wheelchair and a massage, but Jim has a meeting that he has to attend - and since his boss has been so flexible with Jim's taking me to appointments and working from home, how can I complain - but of course, every place that sells wheelchairs closes at 5pm.....so, another two days on the crutches.....and stuck in a recliner.

I'm trying to be positive...
~christi