Back from New York again.  I don't think I have any more trips in the near future.  I think I did better this time.  I exercised 30-45 minutes each day (including the night we got there) and did better with the food.  I avoided most of the bread that was available and had vegetables each night instead of potatoes of some sort.  I don't think I lost any weight this week, but I also don't think I gained any.  We'll see what the morning light brings....

Thanks to all of you who have been so encouraging to Christi.

Jim

I've been doing the Million Pound Matchup for 2 months tomorrow - and I have gotten comfortable with my new lifestyle.  In most cases, that's good - but this week - that meant I just was winging the eating - I knew about how much everything had - but that winging took me from 1400 calories to 1600 two days.  That is NOT the way to continue losing weight!  I need to be comfortable - but not LAZY - all those old habits aren't quite dead yet! They started creeping in! Hey, at least it was only 200 calories over!
So - I'm going to be MUCH better about what I eat - and log EVERYTHING I eat at least before I eat anything else (like if I eat out - I'll log that before I eat anything else at home) so I know where my calories stand.  It seems that when I'm hungry - my mind forgets what I've eaten, and my math skills get a little fuzzy.  And - water, water, water!
Tomorrow is our weigh in day - I hope that I maintained this week - a loss would be a great gift.
These new lo impact workouts are hurting my knees and hips more than the walking I've been told not to do - <sigh>.  I just want to know that I can do what doesn't hurt (and that it's not secretly eating away my kneebones) - and not feel like every time I do something, I'm potentially hurting myself.  My hip hurts so bad I'm not going to do the water class - but I am going to go and workout, I think. I don't want to hurt my hips - because then I really CAN'T walk! 
And hopefully, when Jim gets off work tonight, we can do a last chance circuit workout at the gym.
After my workout, I'm going to get a free tan with a smoothie(buy a smoothie and get a free tanning session), and I have a massage scheduled for this afternoon - somewhere in there I have to do grocery shopping - so, this should be a big day. 
Have a great one, everyone!
~Christi

What goes around, comes around.
Karma is a b****.
You get what you pay for.
Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days. Ecc 11:1
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. - Newton's Third Law
Things left to themselves tend to disorder - Paraphrased Second Law of Thermodynamics.
"Cause is the effect concealed, effect is the cause revealed" which is also expressed as "Cause is the effect unmanifested, effect is the cause manifested" Swami Vivekananda and Yoga Vashista
For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither doth a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Luke 6:43
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Galatians 6:7
What do all these things have in common ?  We enjoy or suffer the consequences of our actions.
Because I did not take in enough calcium as a young person, and have an active lifestyle, I have had osteopenia for five years.  If you are under the age of 30 - YOU CAN BUILD BONE NOW!!!  I didn't - and now my only option is to stop the bone loss. The effect reveals the cause.
Because I didn't take osteopenia seriously, didn't take my medicine - my bone levels have continued to digress - BUT YOU CAN STOP THAT NOW AT ANY AGE!! You get what you pay for!
Because I did not exercise consistently after a trauma, I have heart weakness, lung capacity issues, and weight issues - YOU CAN CHANGE THAT NOW!
Because I did not eat healthy for the last 15 years, I have diabetes. And when I eat something high in sugar, my eyes get blurry.  YOU CAN PREVENT OR REVERSE  THAT NOW! Newton's Third Law!
Because I have diabetes, and did nothing about it for 5 years - I have a leg that has the beginnings of neuropothy - YOU CAN STOP THAT OR PREVENT THAT NOW! Second law of thermodynamics!
Because I weighed 250 pounds, and still weigh 225 pounds, and didn't lose this weight long ago - I am still at risk for damaging my knees, ankles and feet.  YOU CAN PREVENT THAT NOW! Karma is a b****!
Here's my motivational quote for the last few weeks:
"In their formerly fat lives, the cast members of The Biggest Loser gained weight because they had a lot of small bad habits.....Lots of little good habits can help you lose lots of weight!" The Biggest Loser, pg 75
I am reeling from the effects of my bad choices over 47 years of life.  There were many years that I did not like myself - and therefore didn't care if I died.  I like myself now - but I hate the effects of my self hatred.  I am learning to love on myself now - but the damages make me feel like I am in an uphill battle.  THOSE OF YOU THAT DO NOT HAVE ISSUES YET - YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR FUTURE NOW!  IF YOU DO - YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR FUTURE NOW!!
You can look at your weight, and work backwards to the cause - and heal yourself! "Cause is the effect concealed, effect is the cause revealed" 
"For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither doth a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit" - if we put good things into our bodies - we will get good things back!
"for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." - It is a LAW OF NATURE AND NATURE'S GOD that if we sow health to ourselves - we will reap health - but as a wise man (Solomon) said "Cast thy bread(seed) upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days."  We have to cast the seeds of health out there - and after many days - thinking of the agriculture analogy - it will bear fruit.
John 12:24 - Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.
That dying is the workouts, the giving up the 'yummy' foods, the 'easy' foods, the taking yucky medicine, taking calcium (horse pill) supplements twice a day, the waiting until losing 50# until doing intensive walking, the drinking water, and water and more water, and getting up in the morning and doing stretches that hurt - EVERY DAY.  That is the 'dying' and the planting of seed. But, when you plant a kernel of corn in the ground, you get a stalk - usually with two ears - sometimes with three - and think of all the kernels of corn on those ears!  THAT IS REAPING THE BENEFITS OF THIS PROCESS.
My personal trainer said to me today "You are just going to have to suck it up, and fine other ways to work out - you are going to have to suck it up and realize that this (my knee issues) is a new lifestyle for you - and you just have to do it."
So, I'm sucking it up - planting the seeds - and trusting in God that there will be a beautiful, bountiful harvest at the end - and another promise:
Blessed [is] the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. James 1:12.
It is a constant temptation to quit.  But if I can conquer this - I will be given a crown of new life - and that is my winner's circle! that is the trophy I want, that is my finale!
CHANGE WHAT YOU CAN, ADJUST WHAT YOU NEED TO - BUT MOVE FORWARD TO CREATE NEW EFFECTS IN YOUR LIFE!
~Christi

I feel like I've gotten hit in the stomach.  I saw my new knee doctor (haven't seen one in several years) and he has asked me to stop walking(on the treadmill) - and absolutely NO running until I lose at least another 50 pounds.  I asked if my 25# loss would count towards the 50# loss - and he chuckled.  He said he wanted to strengthen my legs before I start endurance walking and such and left the 50# goal as his recommendation.  The truth is, I don't know exactly what he means about walking - because I was asking so many questions, and didn't get all the questions out - nor did I ever expect to be told to stop walking.  He can't mean all walking - because he didn't give me prescription for a wheelchair - or a handicapped sticker - so, I think regular, shopping level, or taking a walk type walking should be fine.  And - I can put in several miles doing shopping!
Walking on the treadmill has been what has been building up my heart rate strength - and, as proven today, with the specific brace has corrected the knee cap issue on one knee ( I now have knee braces for both knees - one size smaller!).  Walking in the 5k's and such are what was challenging Jim and I to work together and demonstrate our progress.  I cannot think that he meant regular walking - as in, a brisk stroll.  I'm bummed. I was so excited about doing all the walks in Ohio this year....
But I am trying to focus on the fact that walking, for two months with the special brace, realigned my right knee cap.  Therefore, doing the same level (low level) walking will help realign my left knee cap as well - it worked before - I just have to stick with what is working. And, one hour of that type of walking is 2.5 miles - almost the 3 that is a 5k.
I am trying to focus on elliptical, and moving up to the regular bike(as opposed to recumbent) for cardio. I will have to keep doing water aerobics as well.
I'm supposed to continue the strength training - and in two weeks I start three a week physical therapy for four weeks.  Unfortunately - that could cost $30 a session(ouch).  My performance with that Physical Therapist will determine whether I get a clean bill of health from the doctor. 
The biggest thing that gets me is the 50# loss limit.  I'm being held back by my weight to do what I need to do to lose my weight.  <sigh>  At least, that's what I feel like.  Again, my weight is weighing me down. 
Next week, I go see the foot doctor to check on my heels, plantar, and the strange numbness in my right leg.  That will probably end up in special shoes and insoles that will help me move forward.  The upside is that this clinic focuses on getting people healthy to have healthy lifestyles.  So - rather than hurt myself so that I can't move forward, I'm rethinking everything at this point so that I make sure that when I move forward, it's on the straight and narrow path of health for me - not some tangent that will take me deeper into damaged joints, weakened bones, and limited mobility.  Oh, I forgot to list osteopenia.....I"m sure that would definitely have killed my hopes of walking.
I guess the biggest thing is that he couldn't tell the progress I've made - because he didn't see me in December - and has no idea from where I've come.  He could only see where I am today, and could only see how far I need to go. 
I WILL NOT QUIT -  I just need to rethink my priorities and the processes that I focus on.  This is a new challenge - a new bump in my road - I just need to figure out what to do from here.  Thanks for listening.
~Christi

And we got a boring debate, and have to wait until Saturday to see the show.  I wonder if we can watch it online.  Anyway - I already know who goes home - since I know some folks got to see the show.  I guess the debate was on here in Ohio, because we are such an important state for the election....<sigh>

Ok, we've had those political things bursting into the BL show - but now - it's put off until Saturday????  <sigh>  Ok, so, I'm not going to the gym to walk for two hours to listen to Hillary and Barak.

I have been sort of down that I haven't lost enough weight yet - 25# in 8 weeks - hmmm.
That is 10% of my body weight.  The number of diseases that are starting to reverse in my body is staggering - just by losing 10% - and I know that just by losing 10 Pounds - there are major differences. I am healthier.

I have been down about my lack of ability to run - or workout at a harder pace because of my heart rate.
My resting heart rate is slower - enough slower that Jim can tell the difference.  My recovery rate is less than a minute from spikes, and less than 15minutes after a workout.  I can walk the treadmill at 2.5 mph for 2 hours without hitting the anaerobic level of heart rate. I am healthier.

I have been down about my energy levels - I've been just plain tired. hmmmm.
1-2 hour of workouts every day, 6 days a week?  And then extras when they fit in?  My body is burning fat, building muscle, purging garbage, and I wonder why it's tired?  On the other hand, I volunteer to shovel snow, I don't groan when I have to run up the stairs for something, and I carry my grandson around like he's nothin' - (28#).

I have been down about my eating - 1400-1500 a day. 
But when given the chance to go out and splurge - I choose something that feels nourishing, and it tasted great!  I ate some pumpkin bars I have in the freezer (left over from Christmas) - and I stopped after two!  I didn't want anymore - and I have binge issues! Or HAD.

I have been down on me - thinking I'm not doing enough here or there - and, there is room for improvement - but sometimes I catch myself comparing myself to someone else in this community. 
I'm 47, not 29.  I'm 225#, not 195#, or 145#.  I'm female, not male!  I'm overcoming some diseases and injuries that need to be watched - not just losing weight to prevent getting them.  I have emotional issues - some don't.  And I don't have some of the issues that others do.  I am doing just fine for myself - and everyone here that is trying, moving forward is doing fine for themselves. 

THERE IS NO TEST - THERE IS NO COMPARISON - we are in this for our own health, with our own personal issues, and challenges - and we are WINNERS, because WE ARE DOING THIS.  There is NO other gauge for success - other than we are making the changes that, no matter how slowly, will create in us a healthy life, and being.  Jen sent me a blog today that said "what have you done today to make you feel proud?" - and you know what - I didn't give up.  That makes me feel proud.
Never give up, never surrender!
~Christi

Jim has wanted to see what Jen does for my core training - so he joined us for a while this morning - and we did mat work - which means - ab work!
Then, he went on to his weight training, and I talked to Jen about the 'runs' - as in, the 10k at the end of March that Jim and I are going to do - only walking.  She is going to up our weight training to build more muscle - because runners run off their muscle, I guess.  When I mentioned training with the run/walk method, she said - 'YOU, run on that knee? I don't think so!'  She wants me to walk - then learn to do race walking.  And, we're going to start doing heavier weights.  <sigh> It's probably wise for me at this point, with the degeneration of my knees - to not do anything that strenuous until more weight is off.  But she did say "You could do a 10k today! I know you can. You just need to believe in yourself!"  When I mentioned a 1/2 marathon at the end of summer, she said "that's no problem, it's just twice the 10k!  You'll get there, no problem!". "How do I train for a marathon?' "Walk - walk - walk, you have to build up your endurance."
So, I'm in training!

In Ohio : In Ohio : http://www.ohiorunner.com/calendar/
http://www.newbalancetampa.com/races/oh/

AND this is what I want to do! http://www.runwildracing.com/grandprix.asp
a series of 10 races in Ohio - Does anyone think I can do it?????
~C

I was asked about my arm - and I thought I'd clear that up here!
In August, I started working at a call center - doing technical and customer service calls.  The work stations were not ergonomic and the screen was cocked to one side, and the desk was at a strange height, and there was no keyboard tray, and blah blah blah.  To make a long story short, no, I couldn't move my workstation around, and I got over use issues very quickly.  My shoulder was twisted - and it got aggravated, which aggravated my elbow(which they called tennis elbow) and then my right hand started going numb(and I've had Carpal Tunnel Surgery on both hands, so I knew I was in a danger zone).  When I started with my personal trainer - I could hold my 16 ounce water bottle - but, I didn't go until I could hold at least that much.  I had become very left handed (in fact, to this day, my mouse is on the left side of my keyboard).  Those pictures of the Baby Trainer where I am holding Brayden over my head - those were the first times I was able to do that - and MAN did I pay for it!
When I say that Jen, my PT is amazed at how far I've come - that's what she's talking about - we're both believers - so we give God glory for it, but I had to do my work as well.  AND Jen was my 'change the can't to can' person - she found ways for me to use non hurt muscles around the strained ones so that I could build up strength while healing the other areas.  She is a gift from God!
And, Jim - he's so wonderful - I couldn't do ANYTHING around the house - I tried to do laundry and stuff left handed, but I'd inevitably grab something with my right hand, and collapse in pain.  He has been patient with me.  He has noticed the healing before I did - he was the one that suggested I carry the 15# weight up and down the steps - because he knew I could do it!
The thing about snow shoveling is that I can't do that right handed!
My right forearm still gets tight - and I have to work to stretch it out - but doing these things are a victory for me!  Oh - I quit the job - my doctor told me that we could PROBABLY repair my arm AT THIS POINT - but since it was an overuse issue, it would just happen again(yes I could fight for ergonomic workstation - but in the fight, I might do more permanent damage trying to work) - so my right arm or my job? it was a menial job - not a career, and I worked long enough to cover the costs we needed at the time.  So - Jim and I decided that this year was the year for me to focus on getting healthy - arm, right leg, back - weight, BP, Cholesterol, Blood Sugars.  In the long run, investing in my health is better for us than me having a low paying entry level job.  So - that's the story behind the "couldn't even lift up a mug".  And, it was so funny retraining myself that I could use my right arm!!!  "Look, Jim, I'm drinking with my right arm!"  At one point, with the right arm and the right leg, we wondered if I'd had a stroke - nope, two separate issues.  We won't go into some of the things that are VERY difficult left handed(think about what you do with your dominant hand!)....but it had gotten that bad. I held my right arm in a sling, and did NOTHING with it. So I praise God that this challenge came when it did, that Jen agreed to be my personal trainer, and has experience with injured clients, and that I have a wonderful supportive husband that loves me, and is willing to help me heal.
~Christi

Ok - I feel better now - someone else is going to walk, rather than run, the 5k - because of injury.  I was VERY concerned that I should not RUN on pavement with my knees until I have lost a LOT more weight - just because of the damage already done.  BUT, I was too chicken to say that - and so, I was going to push myself to run this 5k.  I will have to push myself to walk this 5k with a decent clip - and no shin splints - so, that's my goal set. 
1) to be able to maintain a decent walking speed (is 3 - 3.5 good enough?) to complete a 5k (3 miles),
and 2) do so in such a manner as to not hurt myself to prevent attending the 5k,
and 3) to complete my FIRST 5k ever!
And the perk is that we get to meet some MPM friends! WOO HOO!
I'm so excited - and really stoked to do our workout in the morning!
~Christi

After talking to Jen and Betty Sue on the conference calls we now know that on the ranch, weigh in day is also high calorie day (up to 1000 extra calories).  This isn't a pig out session, but a memo to your body that you aren't starving it.  We worked out, then got cleaned up and made a reasoned decision on where to eat...sort of.  The part of the gym that we worked out in overlooked a Texas Roadhouse, and Christi suggested steak.  So we went...and neither of us had steak!  Christi had a nice piece of salmon (and brought half of it home).  I had the grilled BBQ chicken (and scraped the extra sauce off).  The big change for me was that we only ate the first basket of bread!  Actually had the waitress take the other basket back (this chain gives you an endless supply of sweet rolls with cinnamon butter).  It wasn't unusual for me to eat 3 or 4 baskets of rolls by myself!  So this was a huge change.  We spent the rest of the afternoon running around doing errands.

Neither of us felt stuffed, but it was definitely a nice feeling to tell our bodies that we aren't starving them.

Jim

So when we did the first step of couch to 5k - a little modified - run 1 minute, walk 2 minutes for 20 minutes, I had dejavu.  1978, USN Bootcamp, Summer, Orlando Florida - running on a blacktop grinder (I think it was 4 times around was a mile).  I was running - second week in, and I turned to the girl next to me and said "I'm doing this!" and she said "you're doing great!" and CRASH! I passed out, fell backwards, perforated five discs in my lower back and damaged two in the lower part of my cervical spine.  Within a week, I was paralyzed from the waist down.  The swelling subsided enough that  I finished bootcamp, but within 3 more months - after my A school, I again went paralyzed from the waist down - and now, my arms were being affected.  That lasted for 6 months - and I was discharged (no, not medically, there was some sort of loophole they found). 
So - today, I'm doing the running, and I think to myself "I'm doing this!" and Jim says "You're doing great!" and I about quit!  I actually lost a step! But, I kept going.  I told Jim about the previous running experience - and then, I tackled it.  No, I didn't fall off the treadmill - No, I didn't black out- and no, I didn't quit. I had to adjust the workout for my heart rate - but I did get 4 - 1 minute jogs in, and 4 1 minute high speed walks in(just under the 4mph for jogging for me).  That was on top of our weekly one hour circuit.  Then, we came home and shoveled snow - just for fun.(it's 44 outside!).  I'm going to push through this fear of running....Oh - my knees don't even hurt! that's a big plus!
Training for the flying pig -
~Christi

I was down another pound today, so back to 227.5 (actually 226.5 when we got back from the gym!!) where I was before I went to NY.  But that is encouraging to me because I've never been able to stay below 230# or get back when I've lost weight before.  My next trip I will do better.  The 'Flying Pig' 5K in Cincinatti idea is going to be an interesting challenge.  I want to do the "Pump and Run" which means benchpressing 80% of my weight with each rep shaving 30 seconds off my time.  Right now that would mean using 185# (which is good since I can bench 255# six times now).  By May...wow.  Anyway, challenges will give me something else to aim for, so thanks to the Super Teachers and Christi for encouraging me to do it. We'll register with our next paycheck.  Off to the gym for our weekly circuit, then I'll borrow Christi's computer and post some more pictures of her accomplishments 

Jim

We switched our weigh in to Sat(today) so we could try the high calorie day metabo-boost idea from Jenn(purple team).  I weighed in - and, in four days, I'm down another pound.  Cool.  And, we've been challenged by some pushy teachers wanting to push us to do our best and reach our potential(isn't that what all good teachers do?  Especially Super Teachers?) - and do a 5k in May.
Ok - I could be afraid of the 5k - but Jim and I looked at it - I already do 3 miles walking....so, if I can't do the running - I can walk it - and get a boost to move onto the 10k and the 1/2 marathon here in Columbus in October.
What terrifies me is the photos Jim took of me - I'm getting thinner.  Why would that terrify me?
My protective coating is melting a way...ugly fat women don't get sexually abused(at least, not in my mind).  I have lost the weight twice before - and this is what stops it - not the lack of  exercise, not the lack of eating right - this fear of being unprotected, vulnerable, exposed.  Once it was at 160, and the other time it was at 199.  I thought I had until 200 to work this out - but I guess I was wrong.  I've been having mini panic attacks when men walk near me - even when Jim has come up behind me(though, NOTE - I have nothing to fear about or from Jim - he's just male).
So far, this is what I'm going to do - talk to myself, go do our circuit training today, and check out some sort of self defense class.  I have to deal with this - and I don't want this after effect of my childhood abuse to continue to control me.  This is even more of a testimony to how childhood sexual abuse can torment and thereby control a survivor for years afterwards.  I DO NOT WANT TO BE CONTROLLED BY THAT ABUSE OR ABUSER ANYMORE! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! actually - since it started before I was three - I don't know that I ever 'had' my life - so, I WANT MY LIFE! When my dad left, he said he wanted to start a new life without me.  But the specter of what he did has kept me from doing the same.  I WANT TO START A NEW LIFE WITHOUT THE ABUSE!
I don't know what I'm going to do - but I am at a crossroads - one at which I have crumpled at MANY, MANY TIMES.  I am shaking as I write this - but, it is my belief that if I bring the dark things to light, speak the truth, the truth will set me free - and I praise God that He has allowed me to see the Truth - and set me free!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - and I am blessed with a husband that will support me, and now, with friends here that will support me.
Thank you,
~Christi

After oversleeping on Thursday, I got up and made it to the gym this morning.  Neither snow nor rain....  Doing more squats and dips now that Carl has coached me on how not to hurt my knees.  I really need to get up earlier so I can do more than an hour at the gym.  Started (or restarted) doing stretches at home with Christi, as you can see in some of the pictures.  I am not nearly as flexible as she is, but I'm getting better.  My high school football coach was very big into stretching, so at 18, I could almost do the straddles.  Not bad for a lineman.

Jim

Right now, we can't get the albums to load on spaces - so, here's my stretching tutorial - my not so fun stretches:
First - I do a leg stretch to combat the neuropothy and plantar faciaitis in my right leg - but I do that on both legs:

If this is too hard, you can roll a towel up, put it along the ball of your foot, and pull with both hands - it will extend your reach. Or you can have someone push your leg, which is how I had to start. Hold for 3 minutes.
Next, I do a straddle stretch, to the center first, then to each side. Each stretch is held for 3 minutes.

Always roll up one vertabra at a time - and slowly.
Then, I do a side stretch that loosens up my hip flexors, stretches my back, and I feel it in the opposite arm as well.
Even Jim tried this one!  (Christi is standing {gently} on my left hand when she took this picture, to hold my shoulder down)
Here's the big one for my heels, and nueropothy - heel dips - only, there's no dipping, it's just hanging over the edge.

Hold that for one minute, then bend over, and touch two steps above the step your feet are on - and hold for another minute:

Then - try to reach down to the step just above the one your feet are on, for the last minute of this stretch:

And take the support of friends whenever you can get it (The cats seem to think they know how to stretch!!):

I hope this lets you know what I have to do - and gives you some ideas to workout some pains - and, I have been working up to these positions for several years...do what you can and you will do great!
Hugs to everyone,
~Christi

spell it out - ID10T!  That's me!  I did the stretching - and I immediately felt not just better - but PAIN FREE! And I put this off for weeks???? WHY??? And, I even drink V8 - and I still need to be hit on the head!
Jim took photos - and will post some of my stretches tomorrow - WARNING - they are of a fat lady stretching - not really pretty. If you want sexy - go buy the swimsuit edition of SI!
Anyway - lesson learned - we'll see if I can apply it!
~Christi

Last night on the phone call, Jenn challenged us to do something that would take us out of our comfort zones.  Just by being asked to do something outside of my comfort zone, I had to come up with something that was challenging me - and what I'd commit to do for the next week.  I chose stretching and pilates - because I HATE THEM!!!
I just had an AHA about the stretching, and some all over pain I'm going through.
I have fibromyalgia....and I have been hitting weights and intense(for me) workouts...and I feel all over pain. Using weights is usually not allowed for FM patients. My old doctor told me not to do weight training,  but because I've worked up to it, I have my new docs permission to work this out, with one caveat. 
Here's the AHA- I'm supposed to stretch - REALLY STRETCH every night and morning so that this doesn't happen!!!  I had started feeling so good that I forgot that.  I HATE stretching.  There's no beat, there's no fun movements - and it's SLOW!  I have to hold certain stretches for 3 minutes to get the facia to release, taught this by a physical therapist to help me - so, it's reeeeaaaalllly slow! 
Anyway - here's the other AHA - do I prefer this painful feeling all day (which steals my joy of the workouts I have come to love) or am I willing to put in the sloooooooow time (duh, the dvd takes 25 minutes) of pilates followed by 15 minutes of 5 specific stretches so I can feel great?  Hmmm, life is all about choices!
I can't believe I've sabotaged myself!
But - We're all in a learning curve, aren't we - and we all have things we have to do specific to our own issues - and since I've spent so many years not addressing my own issues - I am in the condition I'm in.  So - just like the food changes that aren't an option for the diabetes, I have to make some activity changes for the FM, and the neuropothy in my leg.  And while I love to run(though I can't yet), and push it on a machine - and I hate to do stretching...I realize to do the pushing, I have to do the stretching...for me, it is not an option.  The hard thing is that with the injuries - I knew we'd work through them, and I'd get better and better and be able to be normal.  So it was a temporary choice for recovery, kind of like not eating potatoes is a temporary choice for weight loss.
BUT - eating balanced carbs and protein is a forever thing - and yet - I get to choose the types.  For my physical needs - stretching is not an option, nor will it ever stop being an option, and there aren't a lot of stretching variations - so I just have to get over this.  And remember, PRAISE GOD - I don't have to take insulin every day!  Or even ANY meds for the diabetes issues.  That's NOT the 'no choice' choice!  It's stretching....simply taking the time FOR ME, and me alone - to take care of me.  That's a whole 'nother message about taking care of me issues - but I'm getting there!
Thanks for listening! Love ya all! You are the greatest!
~Christi